"John Carpenter's Vampires" - C

Hang around virtually any entertainment medium long enough, and you'll be tasked with giving us your take on the "coming of age" and/or "journey of self discovery" tale. And the horror genre's equivalent of this maxim appears to be the vampire story. Unless your career starts off in that vein (get it?), then you're destined to offer up your approach to those nocturnal villains sucking down the blood of the unsuspecting innocent.

Almost a decade ago, director/writer/musician John Carpenter gave us his spin on the legendary monsters with his, " John Carpenter's Vampires," which is the big-screen adaptation of the novel by John Steakley.

Here's what you'll sink your teeth into: James Woods — yes, that James Woods of all people — leads a merry band of vampire hunter/killers across the dusty wasteland that is America's southwest. Their mission: slay the living dead by day, party with hookers and booze by night.

Everything's great until the gang runs across a 600-year-old fiend with the means and motivation to become their worst nightmare: an all-powerful, day-walking vampire.

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!

Gushing for John Carpenter: This is not a fantastic example of the genre, but this is also not a horrible film.

"Vampires" has the right kind of grittiness that comes from filming a sort of western picture. And, there is enough menacing supernatural flying through the air, splattering guts and vampires combusting in the sunlight to keep nearly any fan happy.

The real saving grace for this one is the solid source material. I am totally enamored with the mythology of the anti-vampire crew operating with the support of the Catholic Church. They're kind of a super-secret strikeforce of experts who roll to where they're needed to stomp on the creatures of the night. Fantastic.

Overall, I guess I can't say enough good things about John Carpenter's body of work. I mean, stop and think about this for just a minute: this guy brought us Michael Myers, Snake Plissken, Jack Burton and the dude who called an old lady "Formaldehyde Face." These are all wildly different adventures and all uniquely entertaining in their own special way.

In short, Carpenter is a multi-talented genius of sorts. Sure, he's banged out a stinker, but nobody's perfect and it doesn't erase a whole host of other fine viewing options.

Grade: C (there are some weak moments with the pacing and production quality, but a good one overall ...)

Supplemental reading: Here is a link to a related blog entry that I posted on August 30, 2006, discussing new research indicating that vampires are, indeed, incapable of taking over the earth.

Read and enjoy!