The Fast Forward: A quick look at the "Bourne" DVDs

1. " The Bourne Identity" (2002)

In preparation for an anticipated trip to the theater for the latest installment in this Matt Damon punch/kick fest, we decided to revisit the first two movies.

Once we popped in the borrowed DVD, I quickly recalled why I forgotten about watching it once before years ago: it is completely forgettable.

To summarize, Damon is Jason Bourne — a kind of super-secret assassin suffering from a bad case of amnesia. He travels all over Europe trying to piece together his spotty memories, all the while ducking and dodging mysterious figures who are trying to do him in for reasons he doesn't know.

Damon is his usual wooden self, unlike his appearances in Oceans' 11, 12 and 13 or even his devilish role in The Departed. Look for a stronger showing from Chris Cooper — he is always good, and here is no exception.

Grade: "C -" for really doing nothing to help the genre along. You're better served by reading the novel.

2. " The Bourne Supremacy" (2004)

Two years after the first release, Damon returns for another globe-stomping romp, complete with shootings, fist fights, car chases and another class of over-the-top action.

Essentially, Bourne spends a lot of his time trying to re-build his memories while he figures out why yet another groups of people would like to see him killed. We see different dimensions of the character while learning more about how he developed and employed his skills.

Damon is still stiff in this one, but director Paul Greengrass does a much better job than director Doug Liman of making Bourne more believable. The action and pacing are much smoother, and you find very little of the clunkiness present with the first film.

Grade: "C +" for taking it up a notch with a tighter story.

"1408" - C+

Yet another original, spoiler-free Urban Docent movie review

The scary flick, "1408," has been out for several weeks, but I had the opportunity to see it for the first time this weekend. The movie is an adaptation of a Stephen King short story featured in the very fine collection, " Everything's Eventual."

I hadn't heard too much about "1408" heading into the theater, but I imagined it had to have some sticking power is it is still receive many showings in my local cineplex. So, why don't we check in for the fun ...

Summary: Mike Enslin is a horror writer, of sorts, who makes his living hyping supposedly haunted hotels, mansions, cemeteries and other landmarks. A mysterious postcard compels Enslin to visit an art deco establishment in New Your City, which begins a traumatic night that the scribe will never forget.

Why you should see it: This is the kind of King adaptation that will make Constant Readers happy — consistent, entertaining and, above all, creepy. This is as good a cinematic experience as a King reader could expect given the subject matter is just 40 pages.

John Cusack turns in a good performance as Enslin. He is probably the only actor who could have suppled the dark sarcasm, intensity and anguish necessary to cover the tale. In short, Cusack returns to form with a great showing here.

Last but not least, let's not overlook the fact that you'll be watching this for a scare — and you'll get it. There aren't any of those cheap tactics like we've seen in many recent horror attempts. "1408" delivers great chills and startling psychological discomfort time and again.

Why you should avoid it: This film follows patterns similar to many King stories, which could be a bad thing. There are many plot-pacing and story-telling conventions we've seen before; if you didn't like them then, you won't like them here.

You must remember that this is short story — there is not a lot of real character development. There are some compressed flashbacks to fill in backstory, but not a lot of depth. Don't expect to cover a lot of territory in bringing this one to a close.

And Cusack can turn some people away with his style and mannerisms. When he's on, he has almost universal appeal. He's on here, but you still might find some of his over-the-top reactions to his horrific trial a little off-putting and occasionally comical.

The bottom line: "1408" is going to make a great rental when it hits the shelve in a few weeks. It isn't a groundbreaking effort in cinematography, but it is pretty darn entertaining.

Also, it goes back to my overall theory of supporting entertainment. If you like seeing an actor like John Cusack taking on a role like this one or you appreciate how this Stephen King story materialized, then spend a little time and money to keep this thing rolling.

Grade: "C+" for those who want to be made uncomfortable for a while thanks to some good old-school horror.

"The Simpsons" - C

What can I say ... I've been a Simpsons fan from the moment I witnessed a first-run episode in season one. The show has had more than its share of ups and downs, and it seems like every year I find myself saying that it should have ended three seasons ago. But hardly a day goes by where some Simpsons quote or other reference is not appropriate.

There is no denying the overall impact on humor writing, pop culture commentary and comedy composition than this program has developed. I believe the longevity of the show and strength of creative talent throughout the years have cemented this as one of TV's all-time most influential programs.

With my affinity for the television show clearly stated, let us now consider the feature-length movie.

Summary: Homer's stupidity has onces again threated the quality of life for his fellow Springfield residents. The Simpsons overcome some emotional and physical obstacles to save their family as well as the lives of everyone in their hometown. Throw in sarcastic and pop culture humor, and you've got yourself a movie.

Why you should see it: If you're a fan of the program, then hitting this one on the large screen is a no-brainer — you know you're gonna go see it. It has many goofy moments (including SpiderPig and Harry Plopper jokes) to offset the tear-jerking wannabe sensitive scenes.

The characters' acting and voice work is consistent with what you've grown accustomed to seeing. All of your favorites are here, and they look better than ever with an increased budget for better quality rendering of the animation.

If for nothing else, you don't want to be the only Simpsons fan in your neck of the woods to have missed this original production ... unless of course you have your eye on becoming a Supreme Court chief justice or something.

Why you should avoid it: While this is an entertaining movie, there is not much here that makes it a superstar standout endeavor for the franchise. It isn't packed with too much content that couldn't appear on TV, and there isn't a cavalcade of celebrity cameos that only works in a theater showing.

Some of the jokes are just flat; it seems as though the writers either kinda phoned it in or were forced to take things in a new direction. Either way, much of what happens comes off like it's really just a glorified TV episode.

And while the film is short — only about 1.5 hours — it will seem to take much longer because of the dragging nature of some of the family conflicts. You'll likely find some of this tedious because it is handled in a manner that differs from how they've gotten over similar issues in previous episodes.

The bottom line: I was expecting more from the Simpsons movie than what I got. We've been over some this same ground too many times to simply have it resolved in a less-humorous manner than what we've already witnessed. And perpetually tepid jokes occasionally offset with better ones will not make this one of the program's brightest moments.

Perhaps this is one of those unique circumstances where the overall strong support of the fans can actually hurt the film. People have their expectations — realistic or otherwise — for how their favorite cast of make-believe characters should entertain them, but they're likely going to come away feeling they witnessed lacking efforts.

Grade: "C" — for dutiful fans and those wishing to remain hip in their office conversations on current movies